From Isolation to Independence, Army Veteran Holly Graham and Her Service Dog Benji

I first heard about K9 Partners for Patriots from Google. I was thinking about getting a dog and that maybe one would help me, if I could find one that was affordable as service dogs go. I came across the website, applied, and came in for an interview.

Prior to K9P4P I was very socially isolated. Depressed. Hypervigilant. My anxiety was through the roof to the point where I really couldn’t go out in public; I couldn’t go grocery shopping. If I did try, there were many times I would leave my grocery cart full and just walk out.

It was overwhelming especially with a young child at the time. I felt lonely and sad. Basically, I didn’t have anybody because I didn’t trust anybody. At that time I wasn’t in any kind of relationship, I had a lot of issues with relationships and things like that.

I spoke to Jess and after I got Benji my focus really shifted to the training. That kept my mind busy. The weekly training, the daily training with him… having a big fur baby to love, something that cares about you unconditionally without trying. The social isolation kind of went away a little bit.

He helps me getting up from the ground to a standing position. Pretty much anything I ask him to do he’ll do. And then alerting me… sometime he’ll be licking me in the face before having a nightmare or a flashback. And he’ll also alert on me if I’m upset about something. He used to jump but he’ll alert by leaning on me and if I’m not listening then he gets more annoying but I have to realize it’s on purpose!

Benji is a Husky Siberian mix. He’s protective but not in an aggressive way. If I’m standing in a line he will provide a barrier between me and another person. If we’re sitting at a campfire or whatever, he’s always on the perimeter of that looking out trying to see what’s going on… and he will alert me if there’s something weird. Like if there are people walking in the dark with flashlights. He’ll just growl to let me know that something’s there.

Or if somebody’s at the door that he doesn’t know, he’ll bark. So I feel a lot more comfortable. If somebody was going to come up to me, or attack me, which is what happened in the Army, he would alert me and he probably would try to attack somebody if they did that, I don’t know. He’s a very loyal dog.

I actually did. There were a couple of weeks where I had mental breakdowns. He’s dominant and he would try to dominate me and I felt like I was regressing at a point. Mary and a couple of the trainers would ask me, ‘Are you sure? Do you think Benji’s OK?’ Because he was so big, and I’m small and he would jump up on me a lot. He was just overpowering but I did not want to give up on him.

So I just stuck with it and everything worked eventually. I’d say that it was when we got into the advance training that he definitely got testy. But even with the basic stuff, there were times I just wanted to sit, I was not having it. He’d be standing next to me and put his paw on my foot; that was a dominance thing. It was small, little things like that.

But eventually he did break from that. He realized that I’m the person, I guess! Mary & the trainers did tell me about plateaus and I did expect it. I think they found that he was a bit more challenging than normal, just because of his will.

But after the training, every time I’d go back for recertification, Mary’s just blown away by how calm and collected he is, and how well-behaved he is.

He’s everywhere. He’s my shadow. If I am completely worked up, I know he will be right there. And he won’t lay on me gently… At one point he actually backed me up into a chair, just to have me sit down. He’ll become more vocal some times. He’ll use his Husky voice trying to get my attention and then I think about it and, OK, I know why. And it’ll basically escalate if I don’t respond. So it took some time to adjust to it for sure. That’s what he does.

My whole family loves him to death! He’s been great. Our daughter absolutely adores him. My husband, he’s obsessed with him. Every time he walks by he flips Benji on his belly and rubs it. He spoils him a lot! He’s very loved by everybody.

These days we do a lot of events like the Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association, stuff like that and he’s always at those events. He goes everywhere with us… If I put him on the motorcycle he would probably love that too!

I’m at the point where he doesn’t like putting the vest on but even getting him out of the house he knows he’s going to work and he’s a little stubborn… But over the last 6 months if we even attempt to leave the house he’s jumping around and he wants to go. No matter where we’re going, to be in the car, he wants to be with us. It’s definitely one of the more positive things that’s happened over time.

With the public I’ve had a few interactions that were pretty negative. I remember we were up in Georgia with a couple of friends and we went to go to a bar/grill type place… The bouncer outside said ‘dogs aren’t allowed here’… I always educate first and give them the benefit of the doubt. And eventually I said ‘You could be fined for this, denying him entrance’ and he said, ‘Fine, you can come in as long as he doesn’t do anything bad.’ Benji slept. He laid right next to me the entire time like he’s supposed to.

The next morning we went to a restaurant to eat breakfast and thy gave us a hard time. We had to sit in the back of the restaurant. I couldn’t walk up to the buffet area because I had a dog… I didn’t say anything, I sat back down until we left. But I educated her (the hostess) and she apologized to me; she said she didn’t know, and that was fine.

Most recently we were actually denied entrance to a bowling alley in Virginia. It didn’t matter that we educated them, advised that they could be fined for it; and Mary tried to send a letter to them; I tried to report them but nothing came of that. It was just dismissed.

That was the only time I’ve ever been denied somewhere. It’s upsetting obviously but I’d rather not be at a place that thinks negatively of actual service animals.

I think a lot of the problem is the fake service dogs, and they’re buying certifications online, printing up Amazon patches and whatever and bringing these dogs into public places… Honestly it happens on a daily basis.

Benji will walk by somebody and they’re supposed to have a ‘Service’ dog and that dog will start barking and barking and barking… trying to come at my dog so you know it’s not a service animal. I guess the fact that it is not required to provide certification actually kind of hurts the system in a way.